I am not sure if it’s because my Gangsters have poor circulation, or if it is because they are truly the ‘Stone cold killas’ they profess to be, but for some reason my Gangsters hands are always cold. I know this because they always have to place them down their pants to keep them warm. Or at least that’s how it appears. For like 3 year olds signaling the need to pee, these guys have constant hand genital contact. It’s like they are engaged in some form of a pocket pool marathon. Except there is no side pocket discretion its full frontal cupping.

Gangsters are also chivalrous – to a degree. In that they like to shake hands a lot. They are always shaking hands. They see someone for the first time in, I don’t know, 13 minutes, and they are shaking hands like they have not seen them in weeks.  Walk past them in a corridor, both to and from the bathroom and they want to shake hands, in both directions.

 No matter what you’re holding or no matter what you are doing they want to shake your hand. Failing to shake a Gangsters hand when it is offered is extremely disrespectful. Only scorned women know more fury than a disrespected gangster.

So I oblige, not from fear, but because wrestling an anger gangster to the ground in order to help modify their behavior is accompanied with a huge amount paper work, it is this paper work burden that makes it so unappealing. I try to avoid doing restraints simply to avoid the paper work. QED shake the gangster’s hands.

The shaking hands is not the problem. My problem is the combination of hand rewarming and hand shaking. You walk past, their hands are in their pants. They take them out and try to shake your hand. Their palms glistening with gangster nut sweat.

So that’s the catch. Disrespect the gangster and deal with the violent outburst and follow up consequence or shake a warm salty palm.