Posted: October 5, 2008

Delinquents speak in a special code. The whole purpose of the code is to be as evasive as possible whenever they talk. This is because Naughtisum makes you extremely paranoid; you become convinced that everyone is trying to trick you in to confessing something.  Sometimes this isn’t actually paranoia. Sometimes the code is simply to cover the fact that you don’t know everything. (See John) Other times the code is used to hide an embarrassing truth that you never want your peers to find out. Most often it is to make an excuse for being really lazy.

Take for example asthma. Don’t get me wrong here, some naughties really do have asthma. They live in polluted cities where it is hard to breath. Nearly all of them come from a disadvantaged back grounds that makes medical treatment unaffordable. But we have an incident rate of asthma a thousand times the national average, even for our population. Most destressing is that this health epidemic seems to have evaded detection and diagnosis by the entire medical community.

I first became suspicious when I would supervise the kids playing sports. They would run around playing teams sports for hours. (On a side note we have some truly gifted athletes.) None of them would pause or take a break. Now and then they would stop for a drink, throw their cup in the trash and go back out and play. This could go on for hours.

When the session would come to an end I would ask one of the same kids to take the trash to the dumpster. Suddenly everyone is asthmatic and unable to carry heavy things over a short distance. The bag weighs less than 5 pounds. The dumpster is 40 feet away.

You see Asthma is gangster code for I am really lazy and know my medical rights better that you.

An allergy to bees is another classic example. There are bees near the dumpsters, it the same over the entire country. Claiming a bee allergy reduces the risk of being asked to take the trash out. It all so hides the fact you are scared of bees. By being allergic you will never have to show fear in front of your peers or do hard work. Sadly, for the youth I just wait until it is dark before asking them to take the trash out and then ask the kids I am not carrying and inhaler for. I am waiting for the day someone tells me they have a bear allergy.

Food allergies are a big one. I once had 6 kids on one trip all allergic to vegetables. How can this be? The kids when they arrive are asked if they have allergies or medical conditions. There is no other testing or verification, so the kids list the things they don’t like so they won’t have to eat anything they don’t want to. They are teenagers so they say vegetables. They also tell us they are asthmatic. We are worried about litigation so we diligently write it all down.

So food allergies are gangster code for I was pampered and spoilt at home so I never had to eat anything that I didn’t want to. Now I am in placement I have brought this inflated sense of self-entitlement with me and will only eat what I say I can eat. Or it means I will exert what little power I have, and you will have to follow the rules.  One or other or both, it really depends on the kid.